Imagine going to bed at night with one person and waking up next to a
seemingly different person in the morning. What would it be like never
knowing what to expect from the person next to you? Never knowing what
kind of mood they’ll be in that day? Even to the most adventurous among
us, it would prove tiresome very quickly. We rely on consistency in
others in order to know where we stand and what to expect in a
relationship. You cannot easily commit to something or someone you
cannot understand.
Like all
people, you come with duality. First, you have your innate personality,
which lies at the very core of your being. It is your driving core
motive that inspires your deepest and most natural way of being. Second,
you have your character, derived from outside influences and
enhanced by personal choice. You are a unique blending of who you were
born to be and who you choose to be. Once determined, you must commit to
being your best self—authentically and consistently. Then allow people
to trust and connect with you without fear of disappointment or
betrayal.
Whatever it is you want your relationships to be about, you must
personally commit to being yourself. If you want loyalty, be loyal. If
you want fun, be fun. If you want kindness, be kind. Don’t desire
something from another that you are unwilling to give yourself. When you
enter a relationship, have your game plan and stay true to it. Play to
your strengths and consistently expect the things you believe are fair
and legitimate from the other person. Never apologize when asking for
attitudes and/or behaviors that enhance and lift your relationship.
However, remember that what you deem appropriate and easy is not
necessarily the case for the other person.
Opposites attract. Subsequently you must be patient and persevering
in helping others appreciate the things you value in a relationship.
Remember what you are about and remain committed to your game plan. If
you want to travel, inspire your partner to see its benefits. If you’d
rather stay home than go out, then make staying home fun for your
partner. Decide what you desire to be about in the relationship. Commit
to it and be consistent.
Resonance occurs when what you claim you are about aligns with how
you actually behave. It strikes others as genuine, legitimate, and
believable. Your actions convince others that you will remain consistent
with how you market yourself. Are your personal and professional
relationships successful? If so, what are you doing to enhance them? If
not, what is it about you that blocks their effectiveness? Can you trust
yourself to remain consistent regardless of how the other individual
chooses to behave? Now that's a tricky one :)
One of the great signs of resonant people is their ability to stay
true to how they choose to act regardless of others’ inconsistent
behavior. Are you capable of exactness when others around you change to
accommodate their fears and/or selfish whims? When you can be true to
whomever you choose to be, regardless of others’ responses, you can
become resonant in your relationships.
The questions remain, “Who do you choose to be? What
do you choose to be about?” Eventually, your life becomes about the
relationships you create. Relationships demand consistency and
commitment. They begin by each individual choosing a source of action—a
way of life with which they will become congruent in how they think and
behave everyday. In the beginning, we choose who we want to be (or not!)
by observing our parents. Eventually our innate personalities weigh in
with their influence. Society colors our self-perceptions of what is
appropriate and acceptable. In the end, we blend nature and nurture into
a unique commitment of what we want to be about and how we want to
behave in our relationships.
Ultimately, you are what you do. Congruent people behave as they say
they will, which brings trust and confidence to their relationships.
Does your behavior bring confidence and trust to others? Can they expect
you to behave consistently with the individual you purported yourself
to be? Resonance in relationships has little to do with the other person
and everything to do with you. Commit to being the person you want to
be. Consistently play to your strengths and align daily behavior with
your game plan. All life is about relationships. This is my life and I choose how to live it and with whom i choose to live with, nje!!!!
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